Sweetsnomo

Wednesday, September 06, 2006

What I Did On My Summer Vacation

Well...I drank more than I should have over the summer. I have my reasons and rationalizations. I believe I've been trying to get my fill since once I start the long-acting insulin the game will change. I will not longer be able to drink freely like a non-diabetic (although should anyone really drink too freely?).

So...slowly over the summer I drank a bit more each "time". I'll first describe the time as on Friday and Saturday evenings. Then the time tended to include Sunday (my husband drinks on Sundays since pressures at work tend to hit him a bit). Then the time changed a bit with vacation (a few drinks each vacation day, maybe a little earlier in the day). Upon returning from vacation, I wanted the good times to continue so I would have one or two or five on Monday or Tuesday or whenever.

Now here at the beginning of September I am drinking every day. Is this the making of an alcoholic? Is this how it starts?

I used to only drink to get drunk and these were reserved for parties or outings. I didn't really like the taste of beer (my buzz of choice). Now I crave it. I am actually looking at the clock and seeing if it is okay to have one (think Spanglish and Cloris Leachman's character).

I think I'm trying to cram a lifetime of casual drinking in before I start the Levemir. What I'm doing is not casual. I picked up my lovely, new pens last week. I haven't tried it yet. I don't want to try it while I'm drinking.

I don't want to give this part of my life up. This is the one thing I think will really make me a true diabetic. I know I'm a true diabetic but this one thing in my mind is what makes it so - not the injections of Novolog, blood testing, carb counting. Doesn't that sound crazy? It does as I type it.

I need to stop...I know I can but I don't want to.